The Story (It's a looong one)

Here is my birth story for those waiting to hear. One day and two long nights...
I did it all natural without any drugs or epidural. No inducing. No iv or hook ups to machines. And no hospital. Just how I planned. But you can't plan everything...
The night before I started writing down notes and my thought process in my phone since I was up all night and that was a distraction and something to do. I only have notes I wrote that day up until we checked into the birth center. The rest I will try to remember as best I can to write down.


THURSDAY 10/25
6:00pm: "It should happen this weekend. I started feeling deep cramps early this morning and apparently they say you feel like ur having a bad case of menstrual cramps right before. So unless this is false labor I'm in the early stage labor which is an "easy" part and can last 12+ hours. Then there is active labor, transition labor, then delivery. So, three stages of labor and then delivery. I'm not looking forward to the transition part."
10:00pm: "I think animals can sense when a woman is pregnant. And can sense your emotions as well. Both the cats keep following me into each room I go into and sit down next to me when I stay in one spot. They have been doing this the last couple weeks. It's cute. They probably won't be doing that once the baby is here..."
FRIDAY 10/26
12:00am: "Contractions are average 45 seconds long and 5-15 minutes apart. They aren't very comfortable. They are just like strong cramps that I use to have a year ago only spaced apart. If this doesn't happen today I will have to stall until Sunday because I reeeeally don't want the on call midwife for Saturday...."
4:00am: "I'm in my rocking chair having contractions that are 5 min apart. I've found myself trying to think of ways to distract myself during each contraction. At first I was trying imagery with ocean waves crashing on the shore (each contraction was a big wave that finally calmed down). Then I somehow had the primary song, "Popcorn popping on the apricot tree" stuck in my head so I was doing short 'ch' sounds to the beat of that song."
7:00am: "I am TIRED. I want to sleep so bad. I've tried a few positions all over the house. They all feel useless, especially trying to lay down. I don't know when to call my midwife because they say to stay home as much as possible during the early stage. I don't know how I will have the energy for when this gets harder. My one concern is, how long will this process take for me?"
9:00am: "We are headed to the birthing center now. We called in and asked Rosanne (my midwife) what she thought with the contractions I was having and she said to come in. It is a bumpy uncomfortable ride in the car... Sitting is definitely not a good position for me during contractions."

Once we got there Rosanne examined me and watched me have a contraction basically to see my reaction and how long it was. Dustin and her just stood there ha. I was 4 centimeters and Rosanne said, "Looks like you are going to have this baby today!" I was relieved she was the midwife on-call that day. The one on Saturday was our least favorite that I knew would make my experience not so great. We walked into the back area where the "birthing house/rooms/area" was at 9:30am...
Everything is kind of a blur now. I swear God does that on purpose so you forget the details and will want to do it again. So I am trying my best to describe what I remember.
In the living room/waiting area I knelt on the floor leaning against their window seat/bench as Dustin sat right next to me holding my hands, pushed on my lower back, let me lean into him and made sure I was drinking water. Rosanne left us alone for quite a while since she wasn't quite needed yet and wanted this to be our alone time. The tub wasn't filled yet and I kept thinking, shouldn't they be starting that? The contractions were harder and stronger at this point and I was unaware that time was actually going by. I felt like time was paused and I was not getting anywhere.
Dustin was in charge of texting some family members to let them know what was going on and we let people know around 10am I think. We wanted it to be just us at the birth center until the baby was here.
A couple hours later we finally got into the tub at like 11:15am. I swear it took an hour to fill the tub just 1 foot. I leaned over the edge a lot while Dustin massaged my back and Rosanne recommended I try leaning back against Dustin after probably an hour. There was a nurse there who was training that day... It was her 3rd birth, and she was very good at wiping my face with a cold wash cloth and massaging my arms and upper back.
They kept checking my temperature and the baby's heart beat with a fetal monitor. I actually remember getting really frustrated whenever they checked my temperature because they would put it in my mouth and then I would start a contraction and my mouth was clamped down on this thing and I needed to breathe.
It is recommended to keep your jaw relaxed and your mouth open as much as possible. They say that there is a relation between your mouth and down there and that keeping your mouth open and relaxed, helps you open up as well. I tried really hard to relax my mind and my mouth with each contraction. Dustin was always right there holding me reminding me to relax my jaw and was chanting the words "open" or "out" over and over. It's a mental thing.
It wasn't working.
I was at 7 centimeters around 3:00pm and we got out of the tub because apparently it was relaxing my body too much and I was not moving along.
The 2nd nurse that was training the other one said I should lean over an exercise ball and sway my hips back and forth. I did this for probably 2 hours trying to breathe out deeply and long breathes, not short ones where I clench my jaw.
I read in a book that my sister-in-law Jen, let me borrow, called, "Ina May's guide to Childbirth" that some women have a fear in their head sometimes that can delay labor and make it longer. I kept trying to think if I had one of these, thinking that may be why it was taking so long. I couldn't think of anything. It simply must have been that I was so tired from staying up the previous night.
Around 5:00pm I was at 9 centimeters and we were moving around quite a bit trying to find the best position for me. I tried standing and wrapping my arms around Dustin's shoulders (that one didn't last more than 5 minutes), then walking around the living room (moving as slow as a turtle...), leaning over the couch, sitting over the toilet (I didn't like the idea of it so I actually think it paused my process with that thinking), and then back to kneeling on the bed. I remember during this whole phase I kept looking at Dustin for some kind of encouraging face because I was wanting it to be over so bad. I could tell he felt bad that I was struggling to keep up my energy but once I looked at him he would say something encouraging like, "You are doing great."
And then he would hand me a juice box. :)
At 6:30pm they said I could start pushing. Finally. I had felt the need to push earlier on but they said I wasn't dilated enough yet. I was OVERLY tired and could hardly hold my self up at all. I felt limp and useless and defeated. Rosanne asked me if I wanted to get back in the tub. I wanted to have a water birth but I was afraid it would slow me down again. They laid me on my back in the most uncomfortable position for contractions and pushing but I had to so they could try to help me. Rosanne broke the rest of my water and had to help my cervix with each push. It made it more uncomfortable with her hands down there but Dustin said later she was doing that to massage me to make it easier later... I can't imagine if she didn't do that annoying process how much worse my recovery would have been. The baby wasn't in the best position either. Rosanne kept moving me from side to side trying to get her to move. She would start to and then moved back...
Dustin was on my right, the training nurse on my left, Rosanne in the middle and the other nurse was monitoring me and the baby.
We moved to a birthing stool towards the end. I sat on the stool while Dustin sat on the bed and I leaned back into him. At one point Dustin was actually pushing on my stomach trying to push the baby out. He said he could feel her moving around as he pushed her.
After each contraction/pushing I got more and more frustrated. I felt like I wasn't progressing. I was so tired. I don't know if Rosanne did it to motivate me or if she was serious but she started to say, "I don't want to have to transfer you to the hospital, you can do this, I want you to have this baby here, today." I didn't like hearing that I would have to be transferred.
I gave it all I had left.
The head was out. "Keep pushing Alyssa! Keep pushing, her heads out!" Ahhhhh!
She was finally out. I couldn't believe it. I did it? Wait, seriously?
All in what seemed like 1 second, our baby girl was on my chest and all the women were wiping her, Dustin and I were holding her together, a nurse was cleaning out her nose and mouth, Dustin was clamping the cord, one nurse was moving me to the bed and bam she was here.
Finally.
9:31pm

The baby and I took a nice little nap while Dustin did paperwork. My mom came at midnight with food and was there visiting with Rosanne and help baby for a while. They said we could go home at 1:30am or could stay there if we wanted to. We wanted to go home to our own bed and home so we left at 2:30am because it took a while gathering all our things, doing the carseat and saying goodbye to the help.
And that is the story. That is what I could remember. I can't tell you exactly what the pain felt like. I think that part was definitely erased from my memory as best as the man upstairs could so I could do this again.
I am happy she is finally here.