I've found myself on an emotional roller coaster lately. Pria has been going through a somewhat difficult stage where her sleep patterns at night are becoming unpredictable and she doesn't know what she wants. Or at least we don't know what she wants...
When it comes to food, breastfeeding, playing, being held, sleepy or if she is teething... It is a very frustrating game. I find myself extra tired and a little uptight at times... I am doing a lot of it by myself which is hard for my first time. Which brings me to my thought process trying to imagine doing this with more than one... I can't imagine.
But then the next day will be a great day and Pria is happy all day and her naps all do well and she eats and nurses and crawls around babbling. And I will think, I can do this again. This is fun!
But then the next day is crazy. And I am back to square one. It is a fun circle.
I am sure if there are other moms with more than one child reading this, who knows what you are thinking... "Pshh amateur..." or "Just wait..."
I just want her to be happy. And it is frustrating not being able to figure it out. Sometimes I do figure it out and then when I try it again the next time she is fussy it doesn't work. I try sometimes to not get impatient. During those times I just have to close my eyes and take a deep breath while having Dustin hold her for just 15 minutes.
15-20 minutes. That is all I need sometimes. Just a short mind release so I can think clearly. Usually when I do this I can help Pria. Because my mind isn't cloudy with frustration. I am able to calmly think of other solutions to make everybody happy. I don't need half a day or a few hours. Just 15-20 minutes to myself. That is not so much to ask right?
1 comment:
I know that feeling all too well. You'd be surprised. I think sometimes babies can feel our tension and so handing them over to Dad can make all the difference because Dad is not with them all day long and doesn't build up the same stress levels that we as mothers do. And no, it's not too much to ask. But I used to think it was too. Now, I need whole days off because let's face it: A mom's job is 24/7 with no pay and no days off. It'll get easier. The first infant year is probably the toughest. Not that I have teenagers yet, but my three older kids are a lot easier these days and make themselves sandwiches and eggs now. For me, it's just so helpful to now have an older sibling to take care of the younger ones if not by anything else but to just keep them entertained. And be playmates. The first one is hard because he/she has no playmate but you. :)
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